Lance Around Orlando

Mrs. LanceAround was so touched by this film, she could hardly speak.

LanceAround was confused. What was the film about, really?

For Mrs. LanceAround, she saw a movie that portrayed a lot of sincere people, doing their utmost to interpret the Bible and follow the path of Jesus to the best of their ability. She was amazed by the many different ways people were trying to help others. She also felt sorry for the pastor who took the Bible so literally, he would handle snakes and drink poison trusting that his belief would protect him before he died from a snake bite. She was amused by the tattoo encrusted biker who ministered to other bikers. The cowboy church, surfer church, martial art church and even the stripper church in Las Vegas were all efforts by people, in her eyes, trying to interpret Biblical truths and follow the teachings of Jesus in a modern world. Most touching of all, to her, was the man who held church under the highway bridge, bringing bags of fruit and other food to feed the hungry and homeless in his community.

LanceAround, on the other hand, saw confusion and dichotomy. How could the same book and the same Jesus produce religious beliefs on one side that contends abortion is utterly sinful and another side finds it a compassionate choice? How could someone lose his father to a snake bite, then continue with the same practice until he himself deprives his children of their father? How could someone believe in the teachings of Jesus then work as a stripper in Las Vegas?

Just the fact that one movie could affect two people in such different ways is a testament to the objectivity and skillfulness of the documentarian. Unlike the movie Jesus Camp or Bill Maher’s documentary, Religulous, both of which appeared to have a bias against the subject matter, American Jesus seems to have no agenda. It simply provides audiences with different viewpoints of its subjects and allows the audiences to come to their own conclusions

Perhaps the best understanding of this film can be found during the Q&A at the end of the movie. Here’s a brief snippet with Brent Kunkle, producer of American Jesus, as he interacts with the audience at the conclusion of his feature documentary:

Brent: I drove a van across the country with six Spaniards who were the crew. The director of this movie is from Barcelona, Spain. Being able to meet these people [in the film], all incredible people with different points of view, I can’t really single out any one of them…except whenever I see Bob Beamon, who’s the one who feeds the homeless under the bridge…that guy makes me want to cry… [At this point, Brent literally begins to tear up as he continues talking]…every time I see that scene…He was just a beautiful, beautiful man…And of course the snake handler church. Unfortunately the pastor actually got bit and died a few years ago. In a way that became even more of a special thing. Frank Schaeffer, he just has an incredible story, whether you agree with him or not. Phil Aguilar same thing, just an incredible story.

Q: Don’t know exactly how to ask this question, just to be real blunt, what were you trying to do? Or, how did the idea come about? What was the goal?

Brent: This was from a very sincere, foreign point of view. The filmmaker’s from Spain. He approached us and said, “you know it’s really interesting how Americans express their faith. There’s so many different ways they’re expressing faith. I live in Spain and everything’s very Catholic; everything’s all about the Vatican. Honestly we’re young guys and we all find that to be very stale and boring. We’re not interested in the church where we grew up.” Obviously there’s some very hard hitting and controversial things that come up in the film, but I think the real thing is to show there’s obviously a very grass roots, sincere effort approach to religion, faith, you know: doing it simple, love thy neighbor. I should say there is the thing about faith and expressing faith–Too many times now we tend to exploit those things. They can be exploited very quickly. Things like having sermons based on the antichrist being in Europe, you know. Are these things really part of religion? Are they part of what faith is about? Is it really those things? I hope this film really says a little about what it is to have faith and really follow teachings of Jesus Christ and then also how easily those things are being exploited these days.

Q: There seemed to be a real respect that you guys as filmmakers had for the subject.

Brent: Absolutely. I hope this film is not interpreted as some kind of farce. That would be a disservice to what we were trying to do.

Q: I don’t mean to pick on a film like Jesus Camp I always felt like we were laughing or there’s a distance and we’re looking at this and judging and I didn’t feel that, at all, with this film. I felt like these were sincere, real people.

Brent: Yea, that’s definitely the intent of the film.

Q: Have you thought of the possibility of doing another film about religion on a world scale because religion is going through a change–all of it–because of a conflict between it and science. I think that would be very interesting because a lot of people are being affected by this.

Brent: I think, in general, religion is such a compelling topic. I agree. A lot of people will say, “This movie does not represent all Christians.” I say, “Well that’ll take a Ken Burns seven part documentary series to do and I would love to see it.” I think it would be fantastic.

Q: I just want to pick up on a previous answer you had, it seems like religion kind of runs into a problem when there’s a kind of conversion between religion and politics; when it kind of becomes a racket. It’s that combination that seems to make it break down and become dangerous.

Brent: Well I think you should come up and do the Q&A. That’s very well put. A lot of it, from this foreigner’s point of view, is politics and capitalism. I understand that there are some blurry lines and sometimes it does get into all these things. But when it comes to the point of exploiting it, I think that’s the issue.

Q: Did making this film change your beliefs in any way about religion? Because you saw a whole range of strange things…

Brent: Like anything, if you’re in someone else’s environment you’re much more attune to having respect for what they’re doing. I’m a person of faith–not necessarily any distinct religion. But I do think faith is important. I think people find it in many different ways. I think it just reaffirmed for me that it is valuable; keeping it for yourself and not pushing it onto other people. It should be important to you. As long as you’re treating people well and that has a hand in it, that’s great for me. Faith used and expressed in the right ways is just an incredibly valuable thing and does amazing things for people.

LanceAround’s favorite quote from American Jesus–It drew a big laugh from the audience when someone in the film quips, “…In Texas, where everyone thinks they’re a Christian, but nobody knows God!”

Fantasy Land

Prior to the feature documentary, we were treated to a short film by local UCF grad, Gabrielle Tillenburg, which she describes as an “essay film.” It follows the filmmaker’s journey in search of a childhood memory lost somewhere in the magical world of Disney World. I saw this as a coming of age movie, where the filmmaker goes back to Disney World in an attempt to reconcile the current experience of her father (which is never fully defined) with the knowledge that at four she was a princess in Disney World with a doting father at her side. A moving documentary. Mostly done with handheld camera shots (of which I am not a big fan) and featuring a voiceover essay as one watches varies scenes from present and past Disney trips. Also reminiscent of the feature narrative, Escape From Tomorrow, which made waves when it premiered at Sundance because it was surreptitiously filmed entirely at Disney without their knowledge or permission. (Gabrielle says she is familiar with that film and in part it helped embolden her to make her own movie at Disney.)

If you thought Mrs. LanceAround was nervous about taking Grammy LanceAround to the film about gay senior citizens, you can only imagine how she felt about taking her to the documentary about the only [Editor’s Note: This film freely uses a word that is inappropriate for the family oriented LanceAroundOrlando blog, so we’ll just substitute this word instead] [Johnson] museum in the world.

Imagine our surprise when we got to the theatre and discovered that most of those lined up to see the movie were older patrons, with as many females as males.

This very well made documentary tells the story of the Icelandic Phallogical Museum in Husavik, Iceland, just 30 miles from the Arctic Circle. Directed by Jonah Bekhor and Zach Math, the film skillfully walks a fine line between the serious and the whimsical. Fortunately, it is very tastefully done, although inappropriate for all but the most mature audiences.

There were many times during the movie when LanceAround was almost convinced the entire movie was a spoof. Although Mrs. LanceAround never doubted the sincerity of the documentary, she would often lean over and whisper, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” But, no, an extensive search on the internet reveals that it’s both true and serious.

Most of the movie is spent chronicling the efforts of two men to become the first person to donate a human [Johnson] to the museum. One of them is a relatively famous Icelander who is over 90 years old. The other is a 50-something American who gets an American symbol tattooed onto his [Johnson] and is willing to arrange to make his donation prior to his death. Yes, you read that correctly.

The audience ran the gambit from some members who laughed out loud during almost every scene to others who took it all in with a look of bemused surprise.

While in the men’s restroom at the end of the film, LanceAround overheard one filmgoer quip, “That had to be the most bizarre film I’ve ever seen.”

Despite Mrs. LanceAround’s apprehension, Grammy LanceAround appeared unfazed. At the the end of the night she commented to Mrs. LanceAround and NumberOneSon, “Do you know who would have been the first person to do that (donate his [Johnson] to the museum)?”

“Your husband?” guesses LanceAround.

“Yes!” responds Grammy LanceAround, “Your Father.”

Too bad Dad passed away before he heard of this museum. Grammy is correct, he would have loved to have risen to the occasion of being the first human to have made a donation. (Sorry, couldn’t resist. Love you Dad!)

This is a story about…a rock…a VERY BIG rock…a rock that weighs 340 tons.

Renown land artist Michael Heizer, has found the perfect piece of granite. He creates an art piece at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art which displays the rock by “levitating” it above a ditch so museum goers can walk under it. Problem is, how do you move a very large rock 105 miles?

By raising 10 million dollars of private money, the artist is able to make this happen. It’s a surprisingly interesting, well paced, extremely well filmed documentary directed by Doug Pray, that literally puts you on the edge of your seat. By providing multiple viewpoints on the subject matter, it does an exceptional job of showing the many challenges, viewpoints and controversies surrounding this endeavor. How many local, county, state and national governments, zoning, utility and other organizations need to sign off on the final plan to move the rock? What if they are opposed to the project?

Perhaps one of the most memorable scenes in the film is when the transportation team is taking the rock through a distressed neighborhood and the people are all watching and wondering why they are down in their luck and out of work while someone is paying 10 million dollars just to move a rock.

By the end of the rock’s journey, the entire trip has become a celebrity in its own right as thousands of people line the roadway to catch a glimpse of the rock’s passage. In a festive atmosphere, those watching the rock parade provide hilarious, contemplative, insightful and down right weird commentary for the event. Was the government moving a secret military installation? Obviously no one would pay this kind of money just to move a rock!

Interspersed throughout the film are many examples of the artist’s other works. Turns out he’s been building large scale sculptures for over 40 years throughout the world.

The only disappointment with this film came at the end. After finally getting the rock in place at the museum, the filmmaker rushed the final shots, not allowing the audience time to simply view the work of art in its proper place. Otherwise, this film is exceptional and the LanceAround Team highly recommends it.

If we want to contemplate the rock a little longer, I guess we’ll just have to go to Los Angeles and see it for ourselves.

Fishhooks

Becca Barnet is a taxidermist. As a rule, she refuses to do pets because customers would expect the pet to be life-like. But that’s an impossible achievement for a taxidermist. However, when her two year old pet rat, Fishhooks, passes away, she decides to turn him into an art project–much to the amusement of the rat’s sister and Becca’s pet dog. Very short film, but just the right length. Gives one a lot to think about. You might never look at your pet in the same way again.

 

It’s easy to see why Ernest & Celestine was nominated for an Oscar for Best Animated Film this year.

Inspired by the popular series of children’s books by Belgian author and illustrator Gavrielle Vincent, this hand drawn animation is sweet, warm and cozy. It’s the perfect movie for children–of all ages.

Conventional wisdom holds that mice and bears cannot be friends. Celestine, a brave little mouse, challenges that wisdom when she meets the bear Ernest; despite the fact that the first thing Ernest wants to do is eat her.

Filled with many visual images and creative directing by Stephane Aubier, Vincent Patar and Benjamin Renner, this film envelopes you with warmth and tenderness. The American language version features the voice talents of Forest Whitaker, Mackenzie Foy, Lauren Becall, Paul Giamatti and William H. Macy. It has garnered rave reviews at film festivals throughout the world.

As a septuagenarian, Grammy LanceAround grew up in a different generation than most people who attend the FFF. For this reason, Mrs. LanceAround was a little nervous about taking her to the film, Before You Know It.  The movie is a feature length documentary by P. J. Raval that chronicles the lives of three gay senior citizens who are facing the twilight of their years as they come to terms with what it has meant to be gay in a world that began for them with gays being labeled “deviant” or having a “mental disorder” to today’s American society that has seen a surge in the rights of gays to marry.

At the end of the movie, Mrs. LanceAround, NumberOneSon, NumberTwoSon and LanceAround all held their breaths as they asked Grammy LanceAround, “What did you think of the movie?”

“I loved it,” She replied.

“Whether you’re gay or straight, it doesn’t matter to me,” She continued. “I wasn’t crazy about the bar scenes, but I really liked everything else.”

I guess it’s no wonder that LanceAround has a very open and accepting philosophy of life.

“Do they really have retirement communities for people who are gay?” Grammy LanceAround innocently asks.

“Yes, Mom, this is a documentary. Everything in the movie is true,” Replies LanceAround.

“Well, that’s a good thing,” She responds. “It’s not good for people to be alone. I remember when I went into my community after Dad died. I met Fred. It was nice to have someone.”

And her simple wisdom, born of a time that has seen everything from the great depression to world war to the 60’s and footprints on the moon right up to today’s social changes, sums up the poignancy and power of this documentary.

Particularly touching was the story of Dennis/Dee, a gentle hearted widower, also a septuagenarian, whose family does not know that he likes to dress in women’s clothing. He has moved from his trailer in Florida to a gay retirement community in Portland, Oregon, because he can’t bare the thought of being rejected by what little family he has left if he were to come out to them. The scene, where he puts on his dress and make up then waits for an online date with someone who might become a sex partner, had many in the audience in tears.

When a black leader of the New York City Gay Pride Festival was being interviewed as the news breaks that gays would now be permitted to marry in the state of New York, the feeling of pride and elation in the audience was palatable.

As a movie, LanceAround was just beginning to think that the documentary was following a far too familiar formula which made it feel a little plodding and dull. But the story gradually emerged as so compelling that LanceAround became engrossed and totally unaware of the formulaic devices. In other words, the movie works. And it works on many different levels, as the applause of the audience at the end of the film clearly demonstrated.

Most of all, Grammy LanceAround loved it.

NumberTwoSon has attended Ringling College of Art and Design and The Art Department. He has met many artists and has seen a lot of documentaries about artists. So when he says For No Good Reason is the best documentary of an artist he has ever seen, it’s a Ringing endorsement. He was especially impressed with the production values–specifically the way the art was animated and presented.

While the iconic work of Ralph Steadman is some of the most instantly recognizable in the world of modern cartooning, the artist himself states that he is often dismissed as just a “cartoonist” and not seen as a “real” artist. That perception, if it is indeed true, is shattered by this spectacular documentary that chronicles his life and art. It feature Johnny Depp, who starred in the movie, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Steadman was asked by Hunter S. Thompson to go with him to Las Vegas and help illustrate a story he was writing for Rolling Stone magazine. The resulting kaleidoscope of drugs and crazy adventures led to incredible art pieces and journalism that became known as “Gonzo” journalism. An article in Rolling Stone and the movie by filmmaker Terry Gilliam (who also appears in this documentary) helped to further heighten the notoriety of this remarkable artist. Before the film, I was speaking with a member of the Enzian staff and they said that, in some ways, Ralph Steadman was crazier than Hunter S. Thompson because he did all these antics while he was sober.

The documentary does an exceptional job of exposing the creative process that Steadman goes through when creating his works of art. Superior animation techniques then bring some of his artwork to life.

Through it all, the artist himself reveals a fascinating character who is modest and self-effacing in the light of a prodigious body of well respected work. His opening salvo, that his goal was to help change the world, was tempered at the movie’s end by his musings that perhaps he and his generation really failed humanity.

While Grammy LanceAround found the movie to be a bit confusing, Mrs. LanceAround, NumberOneSon and NumberTwoSon spent the entire car ride home discussing the movie in depth. It was clear that they were very touched by this chronicle of a man who created many iconic images for generations of Americans yet finds himself questioning his own contributions.

Very well done and worth seeing!

 

 

How do famous filmmakers become famous filmmakers? Many of them go to prestigious film schools that often require them to create a short film as part of their graduation thesis. They pour all their energy into this film, and perhaps many more like them, as they learn their craft. The FFF is inundated with hundreds of these short films which they then screen and select only the best for their audience. Of course, there are many filmmakers who make a career out of only creating short movies. But it is rare for shorts to appear at movie theatres.

For these reasons, the shorts programs at the FFF are often some of the most popular. Day Two was no exception as the Shorts Program 1: Perfect Day included seven shorts which Mrs. LanceAround, Grammy LanceAround, NumberOneSon and NumberTwoSon all agreed were top notch!

Fool’s Day
A fourth grade class decides to play an April Fool’s prank on their teacher. When it goes horribly wrong, the class is confronted with a real mess to clean up-before the police officer shows up for D.A.R.E. This dark comedy has some pacing and directorial issues, but was clearly an audience favorite as there was a lot of laughter throughout the film.

Cash For Gold
Very well made film about a desperate woman, a pawn shop, and a shopkeeper who struggles to find his conscience. Excellent productions values and very well directed. This one pulls at the heart strings.

 

 

The Bravest, The Boldest
Another very well made film. Once again there is excellent directing and great production values. This short film creates some very deep and moving characters in a short amount of time. Thoughtful and poignant.

ZZZZZZZ
A nighttime chronicle of a man and woman, with no dialogue, who seem to find very intimate beauty in the city streetscape. But are they dreaming? And what happens when they meet each other when they are awake? Fabulous images provide a romantic, artistic backdrop to this excellent short.

The Immaculate Reception
The most famous play in the history of the National Football League becomes the backdrop for two Pittsburgh teenagers making a play of their own. Period piece that does a great job of capturing a possible family scenario. Shot in 16mm, the home movie format adds a touch of realism making this film a true trip back in time for anyone who remembers that moment in history.

Milk and Blood
Father and son relationship are explored in this subtitled foreign language film. Yet another very well made film with wonderful production values that made it very enjoyable to watch. Although few audience members will be able to relate to the specific story of milking cows every morning, every father and son will relate to the difficulties in trying to work together with members of your family.

Setup, Punch
Amusing tale of a stand up comic who appears to struggle with the development of his professional career in accordance with his personal priorities. The title gives a little hint that this short may have some unexpected twists and turns for the both the comedian and the audience who watches him–both in the film and at the theatre! Stand out performance by Elijah Wood provides the added oomph that makes this film very memorable.

Filmmakers

At the end of the shorts, filmmaker Charlotte Glynn, writer and director of The Immaculate Reception and Alma Enriquez, one of the executive producers of Cash For Gold were available for some Q & A.

Charlotte was asked about the inspiration for her film. She sheepishly acknowledged that she was not even born when the famous football play occurred and, therefore [Spoiler Alert] did not lose her virginity on that day.  However, she acknowledged that after moving to Pittsburgh when she was 12 she gradually became immersed in the football culture and found beauty there.

Alma, from Cash For Gold spoke about how her movie creates a very real moment that many people can relate to during this period of economic unrest.

The Trip to Italy. What a trip! And definitely worth the trip to the Florida Film Festival.

Like many Americans, I was not familiar with the British humourist Steve Coogan until I saw the delightful Oscar-nominated film Philomena last year. But our friends across the pond are very familiar with his work as they have awarded him with five BAFTAs from 1995 through 2014.

This film, a hilarious sequel to the well reviewed 2010 film The Trip, reunites Coogan with fellow co-star Rob Brydon and director Michael Winterbottom. In 2010, the duo was asked by the British paper, The Observer, to tour the country’s finest restaurants and film it. Reprising the same concept, this time Coogan and Brydon tour the great restaurants and hotels of Italy.

With comedic, extemporaneous interactions which might remind American audiences of the work of Robin Williams, the duo continually spoof famous movie scenes with spot on accents and witty dialogue that is so insightful it’s difficult to believe it was all ad-libbed.

Complimenting the interactions between the stars is a culinary feast for the eyes. Every town they visit includes a scrumptious meal. The camera catches master chefs as they create their works of art. My mouth was watering as I watched the two comedians enjoy fresh made Italian food between their riffs.

It’s a shame that the opening night film only plays one time at the FFF. If you missed it on Friday, you’re out of luck. That is, until it opens in theatres on August 15. Mark your calendars. This is one comedy you don’t want to miss.

Oh Sheep

Prior to the opening night movie, filmgoers were treated to a seven minute, computer animated short film, Oh Sheep. This funny, albeit macabre ditty had no dialogue but plenty of humor as two shepherds try their best to keep their flocks away from one another. The sheep are so determined to intermingle they risk life and limb in an attempt to thwart the efforts to keep them apart. The film is the brainchild of German filmmaker Gottfried Mentor. On his Facebook page he describes the piece as “A tragicomedy which reminds us that we are all of one flock.” It is a very clever and quite enjoyable film–If you don’t mind some dark humor!

 

There’s always an excited buzz just before the opening film of the Florida Film Festival.

This year was no exception as patrons began to queue in line more than hour prior to the opening of The Trip to Italy. Tonight LanceAround was joined by Mrs. LanceAround, Grammy LanceAround and NumberTwoSon as we lined up for the opening night movie. We took a moment to interview some of the film aficionados who were waiting to get into the theatre.

A woman in a striped dress was thumbing through a catalog as she awaited the opening of the theatre doors. LanceAround approaches her for an interview:

LanceAround: We have with us now the person who is the absolute first person in line to attend the opening movie of this year’s festival. And you are…

Patron 1: My name is Michelle.

LA: Michelle, what brings you to the FFF this year?

P1: Last year I came for the first time and really enjoyed it. And I have returned!

LA: What is it about this particular movie that led you to get here so early that you wound up being first in line?

P1: Well, last year I wasn’t first, or close to being first, and I like to sit in the back of the theatre. So I like to have that option open.

LA: Readers, you heard that! If you want to get the exact seat you want then you definitely want to get here early…or…even better…buy a platinum pass which lets you get into the films first. Thanks very much, Michelle.

P1: Thank you.

LA: Moving down the queue, here we are with the second, third and fourth people in line, and you are…

Patrons2: Amy…Pam…and Lori.

LA: Tell us what brings you to the FFF this year.

P2: Umm…A movie!

LA: You absolutely wanted to see this specific movie? And what is it about this specific movie?

P2: It was recommended to me as being a comedy, a very good comedy, so I had to go see it.

LA: So who was the person who recommended it to you?

P2: A member of the Enzian.

LA: A member of the Enzian recommended it, so are you associated with the Enzian in any way?

P2: I’ve been a member of it…in the past…I’m not this year.

LA: As you’ve all heard, Pam is the deadbeat who has not renewed her membership into the Enzian [At this point, the two friends accompanying Pam begin to laugh and Pam joins in] and right now she’s looking rather sheepish about it. So, Pam, what would you say to other people …

P2: You have to persuade me, through this FFF, to renew my membership.

LA: Let me ask you this, if you don’t enjoy the film tonight, who is it that’s in trouble?

P2: …uh…The friend who recommended it.

LA: OK, she refuses to disclose who her Enzian friend is. We just have to hope she enjoys the film. Further down the line, we see a man in a blue shirt animatedly gesturing and speaking with a small group of patrons.

Patrons3: Are we on television?

LA: No, it’s a blog. We’re here with a group of people here for the opening night film. A gentleman here in a bright blue shirt animatedly talking to the other three…Sir, the FFF, how many times have you been here?

P3: Ummm…[At this point, the man stamps his foot, much like a horse’s hoof, as he counts in his head] Five.

LA: And what my readers might have missed is that he stamped his, uh, hoof, like a horse counting out how many…

Mrs. LanceAround: He must be Sagittarius…or in a past life, he might have been a horse?

P3: I just had to remember!

LA: What is it that brings you back to the FFF?

P3: My wife brings me back to the FFF.

LA: OK, [referring to the woman standing beside him] Is this your wife?

P3: That’s her!

LA: I just thought I’d doublecheck to make sure it’s not a matter of the wife saying, “You go to FFF, I’m going back home!”

P3Wife: Oh, no, no, no.

LA: So you’re the big film festival person?

P3Wife: Well I was a drama major in college.

LA: You were? So was I! What college was that?

P3Wife: Regis College, which is now Regis University in Denver.

LA: And what is it about the FFF that you enjoy so much that you drag your horse back here every five years?

P3Wife: OK…Let’s see…I just like to see…I will see anything that’s good…except horror films…I don’t like those.

LA: So you’re not going to the Midnight Shorts.

P3Wife: Probably not.

LA: Because Matthew Curtis [Programming Director for the FFF] said that it’s going to have people running for the hills this year.

P3Wife: Yea, we won’t be going to that.

P3Husband: We did get used to film festivals. We came to Florida. We imported ourselves from Palm Springs in California where the International Film Festival has been going for about 10 years. We got in the habit…

P3Wife: We’d go to that…

P3Husband: So when we saw the FFF  we said, “Great!” And we get to see new films or obscure films that you don’t get to see very often. We love the animated shorts. So we really enjoy it. It’s just something you can’t see somewhere else.

LA: And how shall I identify you in my blog?

P3Wife: Aryna and Neil, I guess.

LA: Aryna and her horse…Aryna and Nnn..ee..ii…lll [LanceAround makes a loud whining sound, like a horse braying.]

P3: [Laughing] Oh my God, I didn’t think about it like that!

P3Wife: Also, I’ve been a volunteer here for a few years. I haven’t done it lately, I’ve been very busy.

P3Husband: Is he always this Bbbb…aaaa..ddd? [He also makes a loud whining noise, like a horse braying.]

Mrs. LanceAround: He’s a bit of a drama queen.

LA: [To the braying horse] You say that like you don’t read my blog every week!

P3Wife: What is your blog?

P3Husband: LanceAroundOrlando! We read it every week, but we both have Alzheimer’s.

LA: The beautiful thing about that is every day you can go back and re-read my entire blog and enjoy it as if it were the first time! And it’s all fresh! [They all laugh.]

[LanceAround moves towards the end of the queue]

LA: Here we are towards the back of the line for the opening night film at the FFF interviewing patrons for the LanceAroundOrlando blog…

Patrons4: This is our spokesmodel, Ken Carpenter.

LA: This is who?

P4: Our spokesmodel, Ken Carpenter.

LA: Ken, what happened here tonight that you wound up being so late that you end up all the way towards the back of the line.

P4: We actually thought we were getting here early enough. We planned it to be here at six thirty and that’s the wrong plan.

LA: What would have been the right plan?

P4Wife: Not to eat so much! [All four of them start laughing]

LA: Are you speaking to Ken personally or are you speaking for all four of you at once.

P4: No, it was the eating and the drinking over across the street at Mitchell’s Fish Market.

LA: As the result of that, you’re going to wind up with the second worst seats in the entire theatre? Because, of course, the worst seats are going to be for the press who get to go into the theatre last.

P4: You know, when we go to the hockey game they have this thing, “improve your seats,” where they surprise people and they come over and talk to them and say, “We’re going to move you down to the lower bowl.” Is that what you guys are going to do?

LA: Yes, we are. We’re going to surprise you right now. Here’s how it works. When you walk in you go to the seats that you wanted to sit in and whoever is sitting there you tell them that Henry Maldonado, president of the FFF, told them that they have to move and those are going to be your seats.

P4: Tell them LanceAround said that?

LA: No, no, no, no, no…LanceAround didn’t say that, Henry Maldonado said that. And I will be getting all of it on film! What do you want to tell our readers about the FFF, Mr. Spokesperson?

P4: I think they should try to get to as many films as they possibly can. I’ve been doing it for years. These are first timers at the film festival [He gestures to two of the patrons standing with him] Second timers [gestures to another person.]

Mrs. LanceAround: Oh, that’s great!

P4: So your readers should get to as many of the 170 films as they can.

LA: 173!

P4: Oh, they added some. That’s right. They added Susan Sarandon and her film and Paul Sorvino and his film.

P4Wife: He’s a professor at Valencia!

LA: There’s only one person who’s seen all 173 films. Which you know because I’m sure you’ve read my blog post from Monday about it. It talked about Matthew Curtis, programming director at the FFF.

P4: He sees them all?

LA: Yes he does! So you want to get to every film?

P4: I can’t. I can’t go to every one. But I’m going to go to as many of them as I possibly can.

LA:  And you want to get there as early as possible.

P4: Now I know I need to get there earlier. I am going solo to most of the rest of them. So I’ll have more maneuverability that I don’t have tonight.

LA: [Loudly whispering conspiratorially] Note from editor, he says he’s going solo. [Speaking to Patron] Can you explain that please?

P4Friend: [Gesturing to the woman beside them] That’s the wife.

LA: That’s the wife?

P4Friend: Yes, that’s the wife right there, I’m just the girlfriend.

LA: [Gesturing to the two woman] You’re the wife and you’re the girlfriend. [Gesturing to the other man who is with them.] And that makes you the…

P4Wife: The Butler!

P4Friend: OK, we’re not going to print that!

LA: We most certainly are! And how shall we identify you in the blog?

P4Wife: The Husband, the wife, the girlfriend, the boyfriend…

P4Husband: The Butler!

LA: The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover…

P4Husband: I saw that film, that was a good film!

P4Girlfriend: Ken Carpenter, professor of journalism at Valencia Community College.

LA: Ken Carpenter, professor of journalism, and his entourage and harem. Thank you very much!

P4Husban: Alright, you got it!

At this point, the line begins to move as patrons fill up the theatre. As usual, once the theatre is full–and we don’t see an empty seat in the house–Henry Maldonado addresses the crowd. He introduces some of the dignitaries that are in attendance this year, including Congressman John Mica and Orange County Mayor Teresa Jacobs. He also wishes Matthew Curtis, programming director at the FFF, a happy birthday and everyone sings to him. Then the lights dim and the opening films begin…

We’re here at the opening night film of the FFF. Everyone enjoyed the hilarious comedy, The Trip to Italy, which has just concluded.

The FFF is no stranger to dignitaries and stars, usually from Hollywood and the entertainment industry. But today, from the halls of power in Washington D.C., we have with us U.S. Congressman John Mica representing the 7th district here in Central Florida. Congressman Mica just finished watching The Trip to Italy. Judging from all the laughter around us, he seemed to really enjoy it.

After the movie, Congressman Mica met with the LanceAround family and allowed us a brief interview:

LanceAround:  Congress Mica, welcome!

Congressman John Mica: Well, it’s good to be at the 2014 Florida Film Festival and a great kickoff here!

LA: What brings you to the FFF this year?

CJM: It was courtesy US Air and a flight that just got in. [Everyone around us chuckles] and I can assure you that the film festival will be a great success and Washington and the Federal Government had nothing to do with it.

LA: During the initial introduction, Henry Maldonado, president of the FFF, said that you’re not just here as a representative of Congress but that you are a patron of the Enzian Theatre. Can you tell us about that.

CJM: I’m a patron of the arts, I like to think. I wanted to especially come tonight because my family on my mother’s side is Italian and I loved seeing The Trip to Italy tonight. It was a great kickoff for me. Not only was the film great but to see the food–I think I gotta go home and cook myself some pasta.

LA: Each year the FFF grows in stature and this year is no exception. Congressman, thank you so much for being here tonight and for the efforts that you put forth to support the arts here in Central Florida.

CJM: Thank you, A great night and I hope everyone gets out to enjoy a lot of the great films that are going to be shown.